


forgive us our trespasses

by springbreeze



Category: Senyuu.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 00:50:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2832194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springbreeze/pseuds/springbreeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their inner selves, on trial, at very strange times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	forgive us our trespasses

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit, this idea came out of nowhere and slammed into me like a brick wall. It is so unfair that I finished it so fast when there are a lot of other things I should have finished writing first. But whatever, it’s done.
> 
> This is also one of the weirdest things I’ve ever written. It’s in first person, which I actually really hate writing, but I couldn’t write it any other way. It’s part introspection, part character study, part speech/monologue/letter/prayer by the characters and I don’t even know what else. In a way, it was pretty fun to write though.

**01.**

Hello? Hello? Can you hear me properly? You can? That’s great! …Ah! Sorry, I shouldn’t be talking so casually right now. Ahem.

I know what I’m here for. And I admit it. I’m naïve. My entire life, I’ve been nothing more than some really naïve kid, with no parents or place to belong. I thought that I could change my name to something cool and just go travel around the world without worrying about anything, or anyone. But of course, it’s not that easy. There were things that I didn’t realize were happening until it was too late, and… I guess that’s the reason I’m here now, telling everyone here all of this.

Can I talk a little longer? I want to talk about some people who are very special to me. I said before that I didn’t have a place to belong, but that’s not really true. I always had a place with them. As far as I remember, it was just us three, and together, I thought we might’ve been pretty happy, haha. We lived really simply… Simple food, simple work, simple days… It was enough, though. That’s what I thought. But maybe… it wasn’t, after all? Do you think that’s why he did it? Because there was something missing?

Oh, sorry, I’m not supposed to be asking the questions. Anyway, I’m the one standing here right now, not Uncle, so the only thing I can do is wonder, I guess.

…It wasn’t fair though. I didn’t understand it. I still don’t, actually. That’s why I panicked a little, when I woke up. I’m really sorry for the trouble, but it was the only thing I could think of. Yeah, there were probably… a lot of different things I could’ve done. But what do I know? I know naivety is something to be guilty of, now.

Well, I don’t mind  _that_ much, really. I know what I did. So take my arm, take my leg, take anything you think you should. But I have just one little wish, if you don’t mind hearing me out? If it’s not too much to ask for? Please, I’m begging you, keep Shii-tan and Uncle together and safe and happy. If I know there’s a world, or a time when they have all of that, I don’t need anything more. Because I was just a naïve intruder, but they don’t deserve this, anything of it.

Am I running out of time? Sorry, I might’ve talked too long. And maybe gotten a little off-topic, ehehe. But I’ve said everything I needed to.

I feel a lot lighter. And a lot warmer, too. It’s because of magic, right? Is this what having magic is like? Magic’s a really wonderful thing, isn’t it? It really worked, when I really wanted it to, at that time. If I could keep using it… If I really could do anything I wanted with magic…

Oh, no, no, I’m just talking to myself.

But I… really would’ve liked to travel around the world, though.

* * *

 

**02.**

Um, do I just start talking? Like this? Oh, okay!

To… To whoever’s listening… I’m a coward. I’ve caused a lot of problems that I didn’t mean to, but I didn’t try fixing them either. L-Like the monsters popping out like popcorn, and… not telling Alba-san a lot, a lot of things, when maybe I should’ve.

There were a lot of things I should’ve done, when I think about it. I should’ve stayed in the Demon World to explain about the monsters. Everyone there is nice! They would’ve understood… I think. But I was scared. I thought if I could fix it myself, no one would ever have to know, and everything would go back to normal. I thought I was being really cool and brave, going to the human world by myself to seal the monsters back up. T-The Demon Lord is supposed to be strong like that, right? But I was just running away. Really, I was just scared of everyone getting mad at me. I was scared that… everyone would see me for the coward I really was, without my parents.

…But when I met Alba-san and Ros-san, they didn’t see it that way at all. They even said they’d help me. It made me really, really happy. I probably let it go to my head, because… I wasn’t the one who needed help. When I finally noticed, everything went wrong.

Ros-san said to keep everything about us a secret. We just had to be “Ruki” and “Soldier Ros”, nothing more or less, and it would’ve been okay. We wouldn’t have to be the “Demon Lord Rchimedes” and “Hero Creasion”. We could just keep traveling together, as long as we wanted to. But I think things might’ve been different, if Alba-san had known. Alba-san doesn’t look like much, but he really can be a hero.

Please, to anyone who can hear me. Even though I’m the Demon Lord, I’m scared and useless, and clumsy, and not strong at all. But because I’m the Demon Lord, not just “Ruki”, I’ll go back to the Demon World and set things right. I’ll tell Alba-san everything he wants, and needs to learn. So please don’t break the times we had fun together. Don’t make Ros-san seal Grandpa again. Don’t make him leave Alba-san and me behind. Don’t make Alba-san confused and angry and sad.

…S-Sorry, it all sounds like an excuse, doesn’t it? I don’t mean it to be. But that sounds like an excuse too…

…I guess it’s a little too late for some of the things I’m asking for. Someone guilty of being a coward like me shouldn’t ask for so much, either. Oh, but is there one thing I can ask for? It’s not a lot. No, it’s not for myself. That’s okay, isn’t it? Like I said, I’m just a coward, so it’d be wasted on me.

But somehow, please, give Alba-san strength, and patience, and don’t let him give up. He can do anything he wants to, I know he can. A little bit of help won’t hurt, though.

…I lied, actually. There’s one more thing I want to ask. Do you think I can go with him? Do you think he’ll let a scared, cowardly, useless little Demon Lord like me stay by his side?

* * *

 

**03.**

I’m a traitor. And I regret nothing.

…Well, that’s not entirely true. There’s a lot of things I regret, if I’m being completely honest. I regret never seeing the signs I should’ve noticed. I regret being such a clueless, powerless, helpless person. I regret not being a hero then, at the moment someone really needed one.

But I don’t regret what I’m standing here for right now. So you don’t need to tell me I’m guilty. I know that already. I didn’t expect it to turn out like this, you know? It’s not the way I imagined becoming a hero. Actually, I don’t think anyone, in their wildest dreams, would’ve imagined becoming a hero like this. Funny, how things sometimes work out.

I don’t know why I’m still here, honestly. Haven’t you heard enough? I’ve admitted I’m a traitor. Isn’t that what you wanted to hear? …As if none of you hear it enough from everyone else. The king has no problem calling me a traitor the moment I’m not useful anymore. Punching him in the face probably had something to do with it. But it’s not like I care about that. Is there something else I need to say, before I can get back to more important things?

In a hurry? Yeah, I’m kind of in a hurry. I’m trying to get my friend back and all, so time is pretty important to me right now.

Why? What do you mean  _why?_  We’re friends, and I don’t need any more reason than that. Even if the kingdom calls me a traitor, even if the whole world calls me a traitor for trying to revive the Demon Lord, I was a traitor to my friend first, for all the things I didn’t do. I didn’t notice that sometimes, he was looking at somewhere really far away, at a place I couldn’t reach. I was only playing at being a hero, when he was always much more of one than me. But for some reason, he thought I was worth it. Worth doing something really, really selfish, on his own, without asking anyone else.

…Ah, I... get it now. Sorry, I misunderstood why I was here. Do you mind if I start over?

I’m… I’m a traitor. And I regret being one for all the wrong reasons.

…Anything else I want to say? Not really… Oh wait, actually, there is. I don’t expect this to help very much, but… a little wish never hurt anyone, right? If it doesn’t help, that’s fine, I planned on getting all this back on my own from the start.

I’d like to travel together with everyone again. The three of us, together, where Ruki doesn’t have to be the Demon Lord and Ros doesn’t have to be Hero Creasion. If we could do stuff like roast marshmallows in a campfire, blow bubbles, or go to a town’s festival and eat a ton of different foods, watch a sunset or stargaze at night again…

If we could do those kinds of silly, insignificant, fun things like that again, I can’t think of anything except… I’d be really happy.

* * *

 

**04.**

Excuse me, but this is a strange time to be here. In case you haven’t noticed, we happen to be in the middle of a battle determining the fate of the world. Probably. Hm? Outside the constraints of time? Hah, talk about convenient. Well, fine then, where should I begin? Oh, I know.

All of you can see him right now, can’t you? The person standing in front of me, with his back to me, wearing that silly, ragged, dramatically fluttering cloak. Honestly, it’s just begging to be tripped on. Ah, but that’s not the point.

I don’t know this person.

I’m sure you’ll forgive me for being confused; my sense of time is a little off, you understand. My memories indicate that I left behind a boy who was no taller than my shoulder, who could barely swing his sword once without panting, whose voice always cracked when he made those admittedly hilarious retorts. I can see it even now, really. Once, not so long ago (from my point of view), the three of us—me, him, and our little Demon Lord—had stopped in a forest for the night. It took him the longest time to start a fire up, as clumsy as he was, but he accomplished it eventually, only paying the price of a few blisters. I remember telling him that he was only allowed to complain about blisters if he had dug many, many deep holes. Now the kind of blisters you get from doing something like that are far more painful.

So we had our underwhelming little fire, and what do you think he brings out? Marshmallows, of all things. He was far too excited trying to tell us how to put them on some sharpened sticks and hold them over a fire. Ruki was very good at it, but he dropped his first marshmallow into the fire trying to show off. It swelled up quite a bit before deflating and crumbling into a charcoal-like black mass. He’d tried to save it at first, but reached a little too close to the fire and burned himself. I don’t know why he screamed that it was hot; that’s only natural. Silly, isn’t he? A descendant of the great Hero Creasion, defeated by a campfire. A weak, panicky, silly boy.

My apologies, I got a little sidetracked. But you see, that is the person I remember. I don’t recognize the person standing in front of me. His back is too broad and too tall—why is it almost level with my eyes? Why is he so fearless, so confident, so reliable, now? Did he get a girlfriend? No, no, that’s impossible. But the point stands. This person is too much of a hero. I’ve been reduced to nothing more than an extra item in this fight, while he’s taken out the small fry and gotten himself a power-up, on top of it.

…To whom it may concern: I am a murderer. Unfortunately, a very happy murderer. My best friend is as close to dead as you can get and my father is insane, so you may think that is a very strange thing to say. But since they are the beginning, it’s only fitting to acknowledge them. And so perhaps, with them, the boy I speak of died along with Soldier Ros on that day. In that boy’s place, there is only Hero Alba now, with harder eyes, a colder voice, and a frightening sort of sureness in the way he moves. Back then, I only regretted that he’d had to bleed for my errors, but now, I am regretting something else entirely.

If somewhere, sometime, you have seen the boy I accidentally killed, who bought marshmallows just because neither Ruki nor I knew what they were, who burned his fingers trying to toast those marshmallows, who nearly died trying to defeat a slime, who happily traced patterns in the stars at night, who told me that the world was wide, with many fun things to do, then if you would be so kind as to point me in his direction, I would be very grateful. The young man before my eyes right now is a wonderful, splendid hero, but I would like to apologize to my unintentional victim, who was necessary for the dawn of such a person.

Once again, I am a murderer. Please pronounce me guilty, and be done with it.

That is all.

**Author's Note:**

> If it wasn't clear, Crea's part was at the time his magic awakened, Ruki's is at the end of part 1, Alba's is in the middle of part 2, and Ros' is at the final fight in part 2.


End file.
